Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
