If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it's like heaven, but drunker
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
