i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
