I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
