ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
