i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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