i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize