JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
