dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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