i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
