This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize