Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
