Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize