So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
