I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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