i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
