Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Found the puke drawer
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
