He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
