He felt like a one man threesome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize