I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
