you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
