i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
