I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
