Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
