Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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