every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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