You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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