We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
