butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize