i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
