you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
