I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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