Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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