I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
