I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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