Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
