i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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