Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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