I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
