She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
