another moral hangover. fuck.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
