You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
