I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
