party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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