There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
