Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
