when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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