After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
lol hangovers are for mortals.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
