Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
