there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
