I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
