what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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