if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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