normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
