Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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