Yo dont text me then not text me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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