Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
