If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
