Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I skipped work to stalk him.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

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(602): View more from Arizona

You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

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(214): View more from Texas

So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least

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(740): View more from Ohio

Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test

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(206): View more from Washington

He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it

(253): View more from Washington

The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence

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