Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
