It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
