Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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