Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
