He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
