I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
