So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
