So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
