my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
