do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
