yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
