it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
