i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I pour the whiskey from now on
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize