everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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