Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
