it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
