You're a womanizer and a bitch.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
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