idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
