Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My liver just broke up with me...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
