Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize